March 30, 2026

Where: the neighborhood

When: 5:45pm

Bird Species: house sparrow, house finch, tufted titmouse, northern cardinal, European starling, common grackle, song sparrow, mourning dove, blue jay, dark-eyed junco, Carolina wren, American robin, Cooper's hawk

Things I Thought About:

• Ugh, it is NOISY out this evening. A child is on the swing set and the chains desperately need oiling, guys are working on their car and the engine is trying to catch as they rev it, the young complex miscreants are playing soccer in the courtyard, and there are roosters crowing at this, the shank of 6pm. I am out of sorts. This is uncommon; I depend on stepping outside after work to chill me right the fuck out. Everyone needs to shut up, including those goddamn blue jays.
• All I do at the new job so far is go to meetings. This will change with time, of course, but in the meantime, it sucks so bad. So I’m, what, I am sad that I can’t fuck off for 90 minutes in the middle of a sunny day and no one notice or care? That is insanely spoiled and privileged behavior, and is not how anything works, but I do feel like I’m grieving the loss a little, which is absurd.
• My man Hugo on a Big Wheel, pointing at the birdfeeder surrounded by doves, in case I missed it. That’ll cheer you right up.

• Oh, there’s a titmouse with a big old tuft, but I lost him when he flew across the street. I’d follow, but the tree he fled to is unequivocally on the elementary school grounds. People love it when a gloomy childless weirdo hangs out at the school with a big camera, don’t they?
• It would be helpful to me if someone was keeping a Wiki on my life the way people do with podcasts. I need someone to tell me what I said last time we talked about this, have I seen that movie, what promises did I make to myself the last time I fucked up, did we talk about this already, which truth did I stretch with whom and in which direction. There are things I look up about myself.
• is...is that squirrel hitting on me

• At sleepover the niece explained a diamond birthday to me, which is when you are turning the age of the year you were born, which she is having this year, turning 13 in 2026. I have extracted a promise that she will throw me a diamond birthday party when it’s my turn. We determined she will be 31.
• You know who is an aptly named bird? The song sparrow. So much song from such a tiny bird. They have a lot of different songs, too, but they all start with those three sharp piping notes followed by the trill. I had to look for this one a long time, her tiny little body was all tucked in near the top of this very large and overgrown snag. Singing her head off all evening. By the time I found her I was feeling quite a bit better. A scavenger hunt is always a good distraction.

• All day in the house I heard through the patio door a Carolina wren, a mockingbird, and twice, an ice cream truck. I need to shake off this funk I am in, because it is truly spring.
• Plus, I am the guest of honor for a party in 2044.
• A young voice floats to me from the makeshift soccer pitch in the courtyard, "DUDE, will you stop being a WHORE and get after it??," which is good advice, regardless.

BOTD: this Cooper's hawk, but he might be a sharp-shinned hawk. He was posted up directly across the street from my condo, and it was an absolute pain in the ass trying to get a photo in focus, between the tree, the light, and the angle.

I am 95% sure there is a nest somewhere in those three trees across the way. This is a hopelessly unfocused photo of a second hawk in that same tree.