June 2, 2026

Where: the condo complex next door to mine

When: 1:30 pm

Bird Species: American robin, house sparrow, song sparrow, gray catbird, mourning dove, blue budgerigar (captive/cultivated)

Things I Thought About:

• The low background hum of “welp, I've ruined my life,“ that I’ve been fighting off since about fifteen days into my new-ish job.
• The immediate talking myself down from this position, I am contributing in meaningful ways, I’m doing fine, I knew when I accepted the offer it would be tough, I’d need a year to appraise it correctly, and also a job is not a life.
• I put absolutely no faith or weight whatsoever in astrology. Nevertheless, I am a Gemini in Gemini season, a menopausal one at that, and my mental and mood swings are ridiculous, and authentic at both extremes.
• This cough is revolting. This cough feels bad and sounds worse. If I had taken this cough out in public in 2020 I would have been shunned like a pilgrim who picked up a button she dropped on a Sunday.
• At least I can breathe through my nose again.
• What the...oh, no.

BOTD: this is a budgerigar and I’m kind of upset about it, in a day and a week that has not been unmarked by upsets for me.

I was walking around the way I do, mental health break, chill with the birds, wishing I still smoked, following some starlings that were dodging the camera, when I saw this blur of pure white bird fly very slowly over to land on the building in front of me. “What the fuck?” I thought, followed immediately by dismay.

This is a blue budgie, a parakeet, companion bird, bred to be a pet. They talk, and they live for 10-15 years. It has to be an escapee.

I remember one day last year, only two streets away, thinking I saw a pure white dove fly by, and this might have been that bird? I only saw it from my car then, and “dove” was the impression I had because it was the only pure white bird that size I could think of. It could have been a budgie. I only really registered the white when it was flying today, and it wasn't until it landed that I noticed it was beautiful.

I hate birds in cages. I just don't approve of keeping birds as pets. They don't belong inside, and if that's controversial, I don't care, I stand by it. I’d love to imagine this is just a scrappy little jailbreaker who is doing great out there. No one was bothering it. It looked fine.

What I actually did though was spend half an hour on Next Door, and the COA message boards, and talking to neighbors, asking if anybody was looking for their budgie, I saw it around 1:30 pm in the 7300 block of our road, I didn't see which way it went, I hope this is a help if you’re looking. I hope this is a help.

I did see on Next Door an escaped cockatiel that made it home after four days? But no one seemed to be looking for this guy yet. Or maybe they stopped looking a year ago and he's thriving.

I am still not well, and I am also very glum, and I’m going to think about this goddamn bird for a long time.

This whole post is a bummer.