February 18, 2026

Where: the neighborhood

When: 8:45am

Bird Species: American robin, mourning dove, house sparrow, northern mockingbird, northern cardinal, blue jay, northern flicker

Things I Thought About:

• I do not love how much of my mental life lately is filled up with email; waiting on an email, I need an email before I can send an email, they may want to call me after they read this email, etc. I just finally sent an email of significance, and it is both a load off my mind and a knot in my stomach.
• And, oh, boy, it is gloomy out here today. Warm, but glum. I hope I can get a decent photo or two; I only have time for a quick loop around the block and I cannot muck around with settings this morning.
• It is Ash Wednesday, which is the anniversary of when I quit smoking. Well, of course, there have been extra days in that time, as it’s a moveable feast, but I quit on February 18, 2015, which was, in fact, Ash Wednesday of that year. I was out of cigarettes, and was planning to run to the Citgo for a pack on my lunch break, and someone walked in the door at work at 8am with an ash smudge. I thought “Oh, is it Lent?” and went and bought nicotine patches on my lunch break instead. A “fuck it, let’s see how long this lasts” lark that has inexplicably lasted 11 years. 
• Every good decision I’ve ever made I’ve done as a bit, maybe? Maybe this is the year I get hot and ripped, as a bit.
• A blue jay! He'll be long gone by the time I reach that tree for a close up, but what a lovely little pop of color on this grey day.

• According to my Quit Smoking tracker, which I have opened exactly once a year since maybe 2019, I have saved $30,775 on cigarettes and I would simply love to know where that money is. When I quit, I was paying $5.80 a pack; I think they’re like eleven bucks now? 
• I would like to have 30,000 dollars. I should be able to show RFK Jr. this app and get 30,000 dollars.
• Ohhhhhh flicker, flicker, flicker!! When I notice a flicker it always manifests as a flurry of brain sirens, because historically they have been SUCH a pain in my ass. It’s not as tough a capture on a suburban sidewalk as it is on a woodsy trail. He was trying to tuck himself away from me, but it was easy to notice the yellow tail feathers today as he leant over to hunt and peck.

• Plus, you know, birds have meetings about me. That’s how come I can look for a certain warbler everywhere I go for all of May and June and July and most of August, finally see one, and then see one almost every time I go out until they leave in the fall. “She caught us, boys, it’s a fair cop, no need to hide from her anymore.” It’s the only possible explanation: gameplay. I’m starting to win this particular contest.

BOTD: Northern flicker. I was really torn on whether I should brighten up that featured image up top, but ultimately went for the authentic, unedited experience. It was gray and depressing out and is likely to be so all week, and I suffer without sunshine, so everyone else has to, too. The northern flicker is a distinctive and unique bird, but not an especially vibrant one, so seeing that splash of yellow and the red headband really brightened up my morning.

Even though it was too dark really for good photos, there were lots of birds around today, still enjoying the post-snow, saturated ground. Robins especially seem to really be having a great week.